


Desire

by enjoy_my_trash



Series: Some Kind Of Nature [1]
Category: Gorillaz
Genre: 2doc - Freeform, Awkward Sexual Situations, BDSM, Canon Gay Relationship, Collars, Explicit Sexual Content, Flashbacks, Leashes, Light Sadism, M/M, Master/Pet, Pet Names, Phase Four (Gorillaz), Phase One (Gorillaz), Phase Three (Gorillaz), Phase Two (Gorillaz), Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Spanking, Stockholm Syndrome, Whips, Winnebago Shenanigans, light fluff, perhaps the farthest you could go with these two
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-10-26 18:09:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10791966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enjoy_my_trash/pseuds/enjoy_my_trash
Summary: There's some sort of desire going on between these two, and it all goes way back to the beginning.*Chapter 15 will be here soon.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> *Told in 2d's POV obviously...also this is Murdoc in his natural habitat of being a seductive whore.
> 
> *Mostly told in Phase Four and Beyond.

As far back as you could remember, you didn't remember Murdoc being this needy around you, of course there was the occasional sneak-up-attack which always startles you to this day also in which he is proud of himself for doing... In fact that was one of his major problems, he had too much pride. And really low standards but that was nothing compared to yourself since you've basically sacrificed your entire life to this man that drove you everywhere you went. The 5'7 green goblin that stood before you was never going to change and you just had to face facts. Although he expected you to change a long time ago, that seemed to have never happened either... Maybe that's why you had made a song about change?... What was it? Oh, 'Let me Out' that's right...

Your memory was terrible due to your goblin friend who felt as if he were looming over you after every breath you took. Sounds scary doesn't it? It was, but it only felt that way to you... Everyone else could get away BUT you. Noodle went out on her casual vacations to Japan and other Asian vibed places, Russel would probably go visit Del's grave site every now and then and perhaps even his own, and even more so visit his family in a possessed 'Del' state of mind...

It muse be cool to get out sometime and not have to hang around the same person who NEARLY killed you several times in which you still deny it to this day. You've even said so in an interview, 'Nearly killed? I've never been nearly killed before?...' It sounded like a question almost everytime. As well as to the public, who was also very concerned to your whereabouts'.

Seven or eight albums ago things were in your terminology, 'fine' but since Plastic Beach, things were definitely not, 'fine'. Murdoc was losing his sanity everyday of his uh, almost finished? Life... Wait, he's an immortalist, but Russel said-... Things were still confusing. Something about Murdoc's spirits being 70% proof and his being full on possession by one of his dead friends that were also in the shooting... Were you all even here? Or is it just me and... Murdoc?

That question seemed to appear in your head a bit too often. You wondered if it hit Murdoc too... Probably hit him harder than you since you, yourself have had the guts to leave him on Plastic Beach after your visitation from Massive... Basically after Massive finally 'spit you out' you were free. Free from that monster of a man... But you couldn't help but feel bad for him... Even if its just for a little bit.

The two of you hit it off pretty well you assumed, even though technically the first time you'd met Murdoc was in a hospital room in which was probably the only time he gave a shit about you, when he was really just getting away from his parole officer and weaseling his way out of prison like always...These albums just went by really fast to you, but your life itself moved by slow and didn't seem to change much... Here you are, again, stuck with Murdoc in the Spirit House. You just finally gave up after Plastic Beach didn't you? Yep. But this time around he didn't seem very threatening when he asked you to do this album, 'Humanz'...

Like always the other two weren't around much. Only for stuff like meetings or whatever that were held every three months or so just to see how well an album got sold.

There you go thinking again, Russel is technically dead... Noodle... We raised her from the start... She's basically our, daughter?... There doesn't have to be a resemblance but you four were family... Bigger than you or Murdoc's family combined, way bigger love-wise...but how the hell did this even happen? Couldn't it have just been you and Murdoc? This was just your selfish thinking, or more like your Stockholm Syndrome kicking in...

Kong seemed to be the only place where all of you were happy. Who cared if it was built upon a cemetery, that made it cooler I guess since you were a fan of zombies and Murdoc a fan of Gothic moralities it made sense in its own way. The spirit house could relate, it's haunted for one, the other reasons were self explanatory, but it was classic nonetheless and that to you, was the definition of the gorillaz. Classic, but catchy...

Who the hell knows what Murdoc's definition was, you could just hear him saying money and power, but for some reason there had to be a soft spot in there somewhere in that gargoyle... You always thought otherwise.

Other people seemed to push Murdoc away, he pushed right back of course but that was just his way of handling things, 'his way'... It was never really 'your way' but you didn't complain, you really couldn't without having some kind of fear back you out of saying the wrong thing. Fear, that was another thing that was always on your mind when around Murdoc, maybe that's why the others never stayed around much? You felt incomplete without them. They were like holograms almost. Like you said, you were only really close in Kong.

You sigh heavily, there went another day of thinking and sitting in the same spot, the dining room table with a newspaper covering your face. Classic, but catchy.

Murdoc sidled in, "Are ya ever gonna sit somewhere different mate?" You shook your head in response. You heard him sigh and lean his head against the wall, you stared at him, squinty eyed,

"Murdoc, if you start banging your head, I will move to stop you."

"Wot's that? I can't tell if you were being serious-" he does it anyways in almost a dramatic way like everything else, "Why. Am. I. Always. Stuck. With. You?..." He said between bangs.

You roll your 'eyes' and stand up from the table, your lanky figure trailing behind you towards the now smirking goblin. You knew he was up to no good.

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you kidnapped me from uncle Norm's emporium?" You ask with a straight face and a slight head tilt.

"Shaddup dents!-fer the last time I tell you I did it for the band!..." He hesitated on hitting you, which was unlikely of him to do, you still flinched, which concerned him, he just sort of pulled you in a hug in which you lightly hug back in return fearing that too much contact would result in getting pushed away, you broke the awkward silence with,

"You are some kind of nature Muds..."

Once you said that, a bunch of memories flooded him and it gave him thoughts... Dirty thoughts... Thoughts in which he might have done before with you he just couldn't remember, it was time to put his memory to the test, you were of course, his guinea pig.


	2. Well This Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damn those memories...

~Flashback~

 

You looked up at him and his weird look, he looked back at you and just smiled meekly, again, he was up to no good when was he not? He went upstairs to his room to get one of his collars, you blinked and almost glared at him it was a confused glare but you assumed it as some kind of gift? He hooked it on you and called you 'Blue'. You couldn't help but blush at this, was he really giving you nicknames at this time?

Rewind two years from now, Kong studios at its cusp and eviction notice, phase two. Murdoc never took off his signature purple cape, you sighed and walked over to Noodle who had been playing a digital pet game by the name of 'Tamagotchi' you knew Murdoc had one too, that was just two percent of the innocence he had but even then he never checked his as much as Noodle did, okay there were nights when he couldn't sleep so that was the only time he checked it.

You rested your head on the back of the cream sofa, watching her pinch the buttons with her slim fingers. The buttons were so small you wondered how she did it so well, but then again it was just like three buttons, a start, an 'A' button, and a 'B' button. Then the tiny off/on switch on the side complete with a shiny silver ring to call itself a keychain or charm. Noodle did this everyday at meal times, unlike the others she'd make herself some sort of schedule to keep track of what the others were doing each and everyday.

For instance, she was usually the first one up, then Russel, then 2d, then finally, Murdoc. If he would get up at all... She turned to look at you on the couch, spouting something in Japanese and looking at your collar, you blinked and just shrugged, stating it was from Murdoc and she hid a blush and a giggle but the giggle slipped out leaving you a confused blue haired duckling.

Murdoc came back downstairs with his cape flowing behind him and a leash in his hand, he quickly hooked on the leash to the collar around your neck. Not noticing Noodle there, he rocked on his heels for some sort of approval, once you didn't give one he yanked your leash, causing you to lurch forward, Noodle casually glanced over with a hand over her mouth along with just strutting out of the room completely focused on her digital pet, wondering if that triggered Murdoc's behavior...

" 'm not a dog Murdoc-" you manage to say with a few tugs of the leash upstairs followed by some trips accompanied by your outstanding leg length.

"Thas' not the point luv, leashes usually mean pet play~" Murdoc smirked, he always loved your dumbfounded look, it made him feel more powerful than he already was...

"Wot exactly is pet play?" You tilt your head with slight concern for your next task as you watch Murdoc throw you on his throne, pulling a leg up between both of yours. He settled his boot and looked you straight into your dents, " 's when you take reigns on someone an be demanding, a sadism sort of thing-" at least he was honest. That was one of his best qualities... His only qualities...

"Wot's sadism?-" again with your stupidity, it made him laugh and want to torture you even more, he knew you were something special within his grasp. The first time he saw you he knew he was going to make it in this dreadful universe that was created by, from the looks of it just himself... He always thought the two of you could make it, that he didn't need Noodle or Russel, just you and him.

Murdoc was more selfish than you were but you had to admit the two of you could be neck and neck in a lot of things... You both had a thing for horror and video games, the other things you just weren't comfortable with the others knowing... Privacy was your thing, not Murdoc's... Murdoc was like Hugh Hefner, he could do it anywhere with anyone, at anytime, you'd just have to be human and he'd approve.

You on the other hand had preferences, and you were pretty sure being leashed wasn't one of them, though you did like animals... But it was nothing like this... He assumed he called you blue not because of your hair but because of this kids show called 'Blues Clues' that had a blue dog named blue. Noodle used to watch it...There were a number of reasons but you kind of liked the name...

Murdoc caught you daydreaming and yanked on your leash, "Daydreaming isn't pet play now is it?!" You just sort of shook your head and eased your way out of his throne, he glared at you, making you stay seated with your arms folded.

"Whatever you are 'finking Murdoc, is just unnecessary..."

"You might be unnecessary, but this isn't~" he makes sure the door is closed and locked before pulling his underwear down to his ankles and over his feet, you blush darkly at this even though you've seen him this way many times... He brought his cock up to your lips as you look away from it as best as you could the more you did the harder he tugged so you just ended up swallowing all of your fears and instead, swallowed his cock, not having your front teeth actually helped for once...

Murdoc moved more downwards towards your tonsils, making you remember that he made you do this every morning almost... You then realized it was morning and just deadpanned while taking the rest of his cock down your throat. Relationships were too confusing for you, no wonder you didn't keep Paula.

Sex was something you would never do, it never really came to mind... Your mind was almost always blank, sometimes filled with unwritten lyrics, other times filled with Murdoc or other crazy memories... At this rate you just tried focusing on sucking your 'best friends' cock.

'Best friend' or even the word 'friend' in general scarred your mind in a crazy blur... Over the loud, droning moans coming deep within Murdoc's throat, you couldn't help but start to hate yourself. At what cost were you doing this for other than your life? There really wasn't much pleasure to this... The times you found most pleasure in doing things were when Murdoc mindlessly plays his bass guitar or when he's just cuddling you... Sex just really wasn't your thing no matter how hard Murdoc tried...

Once the dirty deed was done he stood up and arched his back, "That was a good one yeah?-" You just sort of shrugged and painfully swallowed his somewhat sour seed. It was like you ate a fruit seed, but rotten... You just avoid cringing at the thought and sit back onto his throne unfazed by the act.

"Wot? Did I not tug hard enough?"

"You didn't really tug at all... Only when you were tensing up-" he liked the collar just not so much the leash. It was like you asked for more pain...

"I see, well thanks again Blue~ Maybe next time you will be able to feel more pain hmm? If that's what you want-" he muttered that last part.

"Yeah, sure muds... I like the collar though... I fink I'll keep it..."

"Yeah, yeah, maybe it'll be in a song one day-" he rolls his eyes disbelieving himself for once.

~End of Flashback~

"I wonder if we still have that collar....and we did sort of write a song about it..." Murdoc looked over at you, you were on the couch, in the living room watching some weird car shows with crazy stunt people...

"Honestly, I fink I do just not on me at this time-"

"Well go get it Blue~" now you know he was just teasing so you stayed put and rolled your eyes.


	3. Backstreet Boys Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to do Russel's back story lmao, there will be smut in the next chapter though, this isn't just gonna be smut by the way, as you can see I'm not really sure if Russel died along with Del but I made him live through it and so now Del just has his soul.

~Flashback~

Beginnings were rough for anyone, especially for the two of you. Murdoc caught you in a bind from the start and you still kind of are in that bind, but a more 'retired romance' now than it was before. Sure he still gets smashed every now and then but it was never as much as it was before when you first met each other... This was a time when you went road tripping to find Russel. In the ol' Winnebago, that was technically Murdoc's first 'car' before the geep.

You had just gotten out of the hospital after your two month coma, hospital wrist band still attached to your wrist, you covered it with one of Murdoc's long sleeves. That was one of the nicest things he could do for you was dress you. Of course he didn't have to be on round the clock care for you anymore he just got used to it over time and thought it was fun.

"You never told me how far we were going, you just said get in..." You leaned against the dashboard as his grip tightened on the steering wheel.

"You were never easy to work with ya know that dents?"

Dents? That was new... You just shrugged and looked out the window with your sockets.

"Oh yeah, yer pain killers are in tha glove box," he stopped at a red light and pried open the rusted storage space. "Don't mind the other things that are stashed thar, ya don't need to know..." He smirked, as some things fell out of it onto the floorboard, you sighed and shook your head at this, at least they were out of sight and out of mind...

You pop open your prescription drugs, not even bothering to read the amount you had to take you just started shoveling them.

"Aye, easy thar lad, they gotta number fer a reason!"

Again you stayed quiet and ate them like candy.

"Dammit 2d, I can't be worryin' about ya every two damn seconds!"

2d?... At that point you forgot your name... Did that come with coma's?

"Wot's my name again?-" you ask bluntly as Murdoc blinked and turned directly towards you with a confused look, "Ya kidding me mate?-" you shook your head.

"Fuckin' hell- It's Stuart, can ya remember that dullard?!"

"Not really if you keep calling me other names... But I like the first one...wot was it? 2d?..."

"Yeah, whatever I'll call ya that..."

Shots were fired about a mile down the road, tires screeched and halted to a stop as a guy with dreads stepped out of his car with a 44 magnum, the guy in the passenger side waddled out next to him, "Del man, we can't do this man, this is killin' people you crazy?!" He tugged the man called Del's arm, however no success came out of it, you were sunk completely down to the floorboard with Murdoc just watching, awe-struck.

Del began shooting and jumped back in the car without even opening the door, "Yo Russ, come on! You wanna die?!" He yelled for the younger man to go back to the car, in all honesty Russel was scared, he'd never done this before but since he was best friends with Del he knew they could escape these freeloaders skin still attached, he saw Del shooting at them again and just scampered back inside, "Floor it man, floor it! Down 34th street, go, go!"

Del slammed on the gas as the tires screeched again their back windshield was busted with bullet holes, Russel screamed at the gang to stop and that they were gonna die, he was not cut out for this, he knew jazz was the right way to go, Del was the one who would do this for fun but this was no fun.

"Dammit Del, thas it, 'm callin' the police!-" he scavenged for one of their cell phones, Del grabbed his arm, "There ain't no time for that man, we havin' a man hunt and we the man they huntin'!"

"Well who the fucks fault is that?!" Russel was scatter brained and Del couldn't do anything but squint angrily down the road he then noticed another car after them, this was no car though it looked like some kind of trailer, Del was distracted as a bullet went right past his head, "Russ man, did you see dat shit?!"

"To be honest man I didn't want to, who the fucks chasin' us now?!"

"Brace yoselves motherfucker!!"

Del jumped the SUV over a knocked out bridge due to road work, Murdoc only sped up for this, loving every minute of it as you stayed cowered, gripping the leg that wasn't working the pedals.

Pretty soon they all made it over the bridge and sidled a brick wall in an alley way, they were at their wits end, no turning back now, Del didn't give up though, he got out of the car free of his magnum and just started running on foot, the things they nabbed were hidden under the seats, it wasn't worth the loss of his friend, he ran after him yelling and screaming, the shooters were close by and they were vulnerable, Murdoc debated to stop it all but thought Russel would be the one to do that otherwise he just stayed put with his head just below the steering wheel looking down at you.

"Dis was exactly what I told you man, it ain't worth it, you gonna die in front of me and for what?! Thas right, nothin'! Well you know what? I'm takin' a bullet for you and you betta make it outta here alive! Ya here me yo?!"

Del stared at him with widened eyes as he saw a bullet hurdle its way towards them, through the two of them, they fell down like dominos Del seemed more in pain than Russel, due to Russel's body mass he could withstand it, Del however was the one who took the blow, the gang managed to get their stuff back but like Russel had said earlier this wasn't worth the loss of his friend, he could stand up, Del couldn't, he looked down at him and picked him up, blood was pooling his chest, the bullet shot through an artery, they needed an ambulance, Russel looked around for that other trailer looking thing and found it just sitting there.

"Hey yo, I know somebody's in there, yo ass better come out clean an drive me to a hospital stat!" He waddled quickly into the backseat of the Winnebago as you and Murdoc stayed silent, you smelled blood, and looked up at Murdoc who just casually started driving while you stayed coiled around his leg.

This was gonna be a long night.


	4. Backstreet Boys Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again with the hospitals *shakes head* poor 2d, poor Russel... *looks at Murdoc* I-... poor muds, but why are you wanting sex at this time?!
> 
> Also this one is kind of long whOOPS

~Flashback continued~

Russel stayed quiet, looking down at his now sleeping friend, at least he hoped he was asleep, Murdoc just continued to drive to the nearest hospital, occasionally looking at you and your somewhat scared/sleepy state of mind, he realized you still had your medical bracelet on, he suggested to take it off when they got there so they wouldn't think he is still a patient.

You complied and let him cut it off with a pocket knife, Russel just stared at the two, not really sure what to say, feeling kind of bad for getting blood everywhere but that would come later, right now he needed his friend to make it out of this. Murdoc was of course the first to break the silence,

"So uh, what happened back there?"

"None ya business, just keep driving we're almost there,"

"So will ya tell us when we get there? Cause we're gonna be there for awhile mate-"

"Did you just call me mate?- where ya from?"

"Ah... England. London to be exact..."

"Wow, I'm just a slummer... Well, from New York...you can call me Russel."

"Okay, Russel, I'm Murdoc Niccals, and this blue haired god is named Stuart Pot, he wants us to call him 2d since its easy to remember..." He introduces you as you just quietly wave at Russel who just simply nodded in return.

"So uh, why 2d? If you don't mind, no pressure man..."

" 's a long story... But he's been in a coma for two months so he couldn't rightfully remember his name and me nick naming him wasn't doing any good so 2d just stuck."

"Oh, that's just the gist of it...Anyways, thanks for driving me, you're welcome to stay, Murdoc right?..."

"Righto mate, an, ya sure we'll stay, company is always good at these times...trust me I would know-" he looks at you as you just sort of hide a blush of sorts you don't know where all this came from really you all just sort of met but you went with it.

"Aight, suit yoself, follow me then..." Russel lead them to the emergency part of the hospital, this was bringing back memories to you of two months ago, the bright ceiling lights, the beeping, the nurses, everything right down to the gurneys... You just sort of kept your head down and stayed behind Murdoc who had been your caretaker during those first two months. You say first in your head because you couldn't help but feel like it would happen again... Hospitals were always a bad omen.

Murdoc would sometimes take your hand to speed up your walking but it was also probably something more than that, there goes your Stockholm Syndrome again... Falling for you captor was probably a bad idea but at this time everything was a probably.

"Should I have brought me laptop for some sort of entertainment?-" you couldn't help but feel a little unsafe when he said that, internet meant a lot of things, like porn or something... But since it was just the three of them, Russel was bound to fall asleep at some time, so maybe it wouldn't be all that bad-...

"If you want to muds, that's fine...I didn't know you had one really..." You rubbed your arm awkwardly as you watched him walk back outside to get it. You then just proceeded to wait along side with Russel until a room opened for him and Del.

Del on the other hand needed chronic care, so they had to wheel him back in fear of more blood loss, leaving Russel in a state of pure trauma as he looked down at his bloodstained palms. That was his friends blood. What were they going to think? He did it? He couldn't, no, wouldn't survive in jail... Not when he could have two more friends in the future ahead of him... He didn't want to let anyone down so he just stared at the tiled floor until Murdoc came back.

You saw him walk in again with a tote bag over his shoulder, it looked kind of girly but in retrospect it looked classy on him... Classic but catchy came to mind again as the thought of this whole band thing Murdoc had in mind, you wondered if Russel played any instruments... You just sort of started with that question to take him away from what was happening here.

"Do you play any instruments Russel?..." You stay quiet and calm for him to respond, you could just feel Murdoc's eyes on you.

"Uh yeah actually, I play a little of drums...I'm a Rhythm and blues kinda guy, why?-"

"M-Murdoc plays bass... And he sort of wants to start a band- ya see, he asked me to be a singer but I've been trying to cancel out my anxiety with the pain medication they gave me-..." You start out slowly for you had some what of a speech impediment.

"A band huh? What the hell you doin' in New York?"

"I guess... Looking for somewhere to play? Or just playing roadie..." You chuckle a little feeling Murdoc smack your back.

"I was jus' kiddin' muds!-" you smile lightly, bringing your focus back to Russel who was just a little bit overwhelmed by the offer of being in a band but he did think about it... He always talked about jazz with Del, so why not these two? They seem musically influenced enough... Well Murdoc at least, he wasn't sure about 2d. But being a singer can be costly to some instruments as well...so he thought why not? It will take his mind off of this tragic event that happend in his life.

"Sure why not? You lookin' for auditions?" His voice was gruff but with power.

"I guess you could say that mate, so wot will it be? Your place here or a flight back to London?" Murdoc tilted his head as if he were made of money, well that's what happens when you dream big you pay the price...

"Not to be hasty but I'm not going to come in so fast, I just sort of had a tragic event happen-" Russel explains as Murdoc just nods away.

"That's fine and dandy lad, not to worry, you're on no contract, just under my condolences and all due respects... But if you ever change yer mind we'll be around and you can give us a ring yeah?"

Russel looked at him warily, as if he were up to something, he denied it at first but then just went with it... "Sure why the hell not, n if you gonna be such a big ass star then why don't you go pay this medical bill?" Sass dripped from his tongue and Murdoc just squinted at him for a moment and then just looked back at his laptop.

"Thas what I thought." Russel folded his arms, "Y'all riskin' yo lives fo nothin'." His whole mindset changed, Del risked his life for nothing so now he thinks everything is just for nothing...

"Now hold on, none of this is for nothing, you'll meet great people and have a successful lifestyle what more could you ask for? I'm sure your friend in there would take it none the less..." Murdoc had a great thing for negotiation and compromise.

"Sounds fishy to me man... It feels like I'm makin' a deal with the devil."

"Well that's wot everything feels like when you first get out there! You either take it and run with it or just leave with nothing."

Okay, he had a point, but really where was he getting the money for all of this? Did he do solos? Murdoc was never really the one for advertising correctly, that's sort of why you were there but you just sort of let him do his own thing. He obviously did solos before he met you other wise he wouldn't have all of these mix tapes in the glove box one of em was labeled '68 state' and it sounded pretty good actually for just one instrument. It just needed other sounds tied to it...

Russel then thought about asking why 2d had a hospital bracelet on but thought otherwise and asked questions later. The important thing was to see how Del was doing, a nurse came out and called his last name, "Hobbs?" He stood up and followed her to where they kept Del, more like speed walked but still... You and Murdoc were concerned but not enough to follow back with him.

You perched on his shoulder instead, watching the screen go to different tabs like tumblr, YouTube, and porn sites, you wondered what it was like to be the slightest bit of normal you couldn't help but feel off. He just sort of glanced at you through puerperal vision and lowly asked if you've ever seen porn before you shook your head no, this was going to be fun for him.

He told the receptionist to seek out Russel when they return from their 'quickie' the receptionist just assumed of it as some sort of errand so she just rolled her eyes and nodded basically giving them freedom to do whatever they wanted as long as it wasn't inside their perimeters.

 ~End Flashback~

"That damn receptionist never seeked him out- so he had to be kidnapped back at his place later that night..." Murdoc smirked, "That was probably me favorite night with you 'D..." You looked at him, "Yeah, Russ was fun, the porn was too- it took my mind off a lot of fings.."

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Contemplation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angsty as fuck as well as really long but, here's an update-✌

All these memories had been flooding the two of you, Humanz had been a big breakthrough to the Gorillaz, but you never saw yourself to be a front man of anything... In fact you really just wanted to be a church organist or part of an orchestra playing some sort of piano and not being in the spotlight you are in today...

You had always been shy, and Murdoc took note of this everytime there had been a public outing for the band, it wasn't the fact that you were mistreated, no, it was just something deep within you that messed with your thought process when going onstage to sing. You vaguely remember the very first show you did, you were terrified, Murdoc had to physically shove you onstage sometimes and that alone was embarrassing....

You always tripped over yourself, you still do, there was always something wrong with you, yet the only person who seemed to stand by you with all of those flaws was Murdoc, you appreciated him for that. Sure he'd kidnapped you once or twice but maybe he was trying to tell you something... Something that involved him to care... He had to have cared about you, everyone else was believed that he didn't have feelings for anyone but only you knew the darkest corners of his life. You felt pretty special around him.

Murdoc wasn't so great onstage himself but you had bigger stage fright than he did, he just had anxiety if it was a big place. That was completely different from your point of view... You hated the way you looked. You always blamed Murdoc for it, and he never denied any of it. In fact he told the whole world during an interview back when Demon Days was released. You were a bit ashamed of that but you also knew Murdoc was just answering a question honestly.

Honesty was the one thing Murdoc could do right. Everything else just felt so wrong with him... He had no shame. But that went with his honesty. His vulgarity on the other hand might play a part in it too... You sighed looking at him sleeping on the couch, he passed out drunk again, this did no good to what little brain cells he had left. You didn't know how he could do it. No one did really...

You also noticed other health problems he began to show, he shook constantly, you were scared to get old yourself. You wondered if Murdoc was scared of such things since everyone seemed to think he wasn't afraid of anything... Now the age of forty you stood nothing against Murdoc, he looked older than fifty... That was something you found mysterious amongst the many other things that surrounded his life. Probably why people liked him so much, he was mysterious and cocky, charming at that...

You always told yourself he would be a better front man than yourself. He would always slap you and tell you otherwise. It was always your singing that got him, he didn't seem to care about any of your other flaws. That's what you liked about him. It took you since the whale incident to figure that out. Being trapped inside of a whale for so long made you realize he cared about you. But you always wondered how much... You guessed what has happened in the past years was your answer.

The abuse part was the most confusing of all. Did he do that out of love? Or just to impress you with his strength and fast reflexes? The more you thought about it made you slowly realize... Your headaches haven't been very menacing lately maybe life has taught you a lesson and you just haven't noticed it yet.

The worst headaches seem to happen before a concert, they become less frequent when you are alone with Murdoc, that is when the rest of the house is quiet. Due to his old age, you guessed Murdoc didn't have much to fight for anymore and you found it very submissive... It was as if he was surrendering to you. You blush at the thought of such a strong independent man doing that...

He did his time, now it was time to do yours. You wanted to stop him from surrendering but maybe it was just another one of his hidden qualities... You were actually quite happy living with him more than you've ever been... You finally got the courage to shrug off the 'insults' he gave to you, those many nicknames he had for just you... Maybe he did have a thing for you all of those years, your dullard arse just couldn't figure that out as quickly as you should've.

Murdoc also seemed to have more nightly outbursts than he did, sometimes it doesn't even have to be night for them to happen... Karma must be catching up to him and his time for making it up to you was now... You found it cute that he did all of this for you... Life would be boring if it didn't have traveling in it... Now here you are with that experience, you began to feel guilty thinking back on all the times you'd try to escape on plastic beach... You were quite happy you didn't now. Even if a whale had swallowed you up in the process, you knew Russel or Murdoc had your back.

In the midst of your thoughts, Murdoc had begun one of the scariest things only you have witnessed around him, his violent twitching... You were terrified of losing him in his sleep... These symptoms he'd been having could result to cardiac arrest or a severe stroke... The drinking had done a number on his body and you hated that... You wished you could have stopped him sooner... He could have gotten help... But all you did was be scared of him thinking you would die by his bare hands... You were selfish and this hurt you worse than seeing Murdoc like this...

You knelt down on the floor next to the couch and squinted down at his chest, he was still breathing thank the gods, but you quickly placed your hands upon his shoulders as he twitched, it was a sensor in his mind that he was okay. You brought him back down to Earth where he belonged... You hated seeing him suffer like this, was he in pain? You didn't want to wake him... But right now you had no choice...

You began swirling circles against his backside, watching him grip the side of the couch in fear, it was as if he was having a nightmare and you were comforting him, instead you knew it was his failing health... You heard low growling coming from him, which was always a good sign, he began to come into focus with his surroundings by the looks of his body movements he arched his back like a cat, making you hear a sickening crack from within his aching bones.

"M-muds? Are ya alright? Can ya hear me?"

"I go an' take a cat nap and ya wake me up for what dents?!"

You sit and stare at him for a moment before continuing your conversation, "No, it wasn't a cat nap, you passed out again love," the word rolled off your tongue without you noticing until you felt a pair of eyes on you.

"Wot did you just call me?-"

"I-... It isn't important muds, the important fing is that you're okay..."

"Okay?!.... Okay!?- Since when tha bloody 'ell have I been 'oKAY?!'..."

He was raising his voice, his chest rose from him breathing heavily and looking around in a blind panic, then it hit him,

"Wos I twitchin' again?..."

You sheepishly nod in response to pulling him into a hug.

"I don't want ta lose ya muds... I dunno wot would happen if I did-wot would I tell the others?!"

Murdoc was taken aback by this and just sort of hugged back, feeling how he was shaking...

" 'm fine mate... Sorry I barked at ya, it's me old age... Gettin' grumpy yanno?"

"Y-you're always grumpy... Don't say fings like dat..." You keep yourself from crying into your best friends' arms.

"Oh ye? Since when 'ave I, of all Niccals been grumpy?!" He found a sick humor to this but you shrugged it off.

"Of all the years I've known you of course- don't fink 'm stupid...even though I might be..."

"Oi, only I can call ye that. Not you, not nobody else... Yer my stupid."

You smile at him, nuzzling his neck for some kind of reassurance. He was a sweet guy once you got to know all of his dark interns... He had too many of em he can't function right anymore because of em and you couldn't help but try to have some sympathy for him. In which he complied to everytime.

"So... I scared ye again did I?" The hug was beginning to be longer than what was expected so Murdoc just slugged off of you and let you sit in his lap.

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did no- okay... Maybe jus' a lil..."

"Ya can't lie to me dents... Ya never were good at that, I keep tellin' ya, all yer good at is playin' bloop de bloops, singin' and bein' mine. Thas' it... An I couldn't 'ave it any other way-" He flicked his wrist, listening to it pop, satisfied, he placed a hand onto your thigh.

"Do ya fink I can do more than that muds?..."

"You kinda have already mate, jus' think about it realllll hard like ya do me..."

"I feel like I've done enough thinkin' muds.... I jus' need to act now..."

And with that he looked down at you, "Trust me I ain't that pretty ta look at no more- 'm kinda shy showin' off now actually-"

"Don't be silly muds, you can't be as worse as myself-"

"Thar ya go, makin' fun of yerself again, wot did I tell ye bout that?"

" 'm sorry... It jus' sort of happens..."

"Well stop it."

"I'll try but only for you-"

"Thas a good boy, now why don't we continue this upstairs mmm?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you just have to accept the way things are.

You followed your lover up the creaky steps of the spirit house, he led you to bed, the only furniture being a large bed, nightstands, and dressers lying around, just common stuff, there wasn't any TV's yet just a whole lotta dust and old figurines... Still often as much cozy despite all of the flying objects every now and then...

Sitting down on the bed, you wondered if any of this stuff was clean... Then again back at Kong, Murdoc never kept his shit clean. So it made you feel like home in it's own way.

You saw Murdoc begin to undress himself and knew what was going to happen, you couldn't remember the last time he fucked you... Was that bad or good? Could go both ways... You laid out on your stomach with your face buried into the sheets as if to hide the embarrassment you were feeling.

You heard the door close and lock, along with bare heels along the planks of dark wood, he hoisted himself onto the bed with one knee, sliding a hand up your shirt, this made you tingle, you pressed your body further into the bed as if wanting to melt into it as he touched you.

You sucked in air with the front gap of your teeth, now biting your lower lip with a jolt of energy flowing through you, Murdoc was laid upon your back, one of his hands yanked your jeans upwards making you look back at him with a sense of curiosity, that is until he began tugging them down of course that was when you just resumed your regular body language.

"You gonna be a good boy an lemme touch you?~"

You just sort of nod in response afraid of saying something wrong at this point while he glides his bony fingers up and down your crack slow and gentle, as he always was from the beginning, it was like he was trying to show you it was okay to do things like this but you knew deep inside that it wasn't but you wanted it all the same so you didn't give a shit if it was right or wrong Murdoc knew what to do and how to do it and that's all that mattered between the two of you.

His hand found your cock and squeezed, you stare straight forward in response as he began to stroke it, you began to stifle your hissing into the bedding as well as lifting your knees up and spreading your legs, he loved seeing you like this, so vulnerable it made him jealous because he would be too embarrassed to bottom anything quite like this...

Your face pressed deeper into the mattress as his face neared your hole, he licked your crack before wriggling his moist muscle into the tightened void. He heard you croak at this, you don't think he's done this to you before but then again you can't remember shit but it was a much better feeling than just having lube shoved in there.

You had your legs out as far as they could go during this newfound sensation, feeling his tongue devour and somewhat stretch your insides, he teases you by sticking it in and out, you immediately flip over to protest until you've felt sharp nails pry into your messy filth.

"M-Murdoc please, don't even bother with that... I'm ready for you-" he looked up at you with extreme doubt, and continued to push his index finger into you, listening to you wail, it was times like these when you wished you had something covering you face, you almost always used your hands. You missed your mask and some of the shoes you've owned for years were left on plastic beach, you sort of knew you would never be getting those back...

The pressure within you began to build up, you felt another claw inside of you, you sat up on your knees, with your face covered by your hands, Murdoc noticed this and laid horizontally, looking up at you he tightly grips your wrists, for such fragile bones he still had some strength in them... You stared down at him in a confused manner until you found one of your hands on yourself, he kept the other hand down and squinted, expecting you to know what he wants.

Absentmindedly you begin touching yourself, in this awkward state of mind you mentally prepare yourself for what is to come out of your mouth. Depression seemed to leak out of your arse as you were fingered, sex was like an emotional reset for you now it wasn't at all how you felt before... The faster Murdoc went, the closer you were to cry out all of your angst filled moans... He stopped as soon as he saw you arch your back.

You watched him position himself, you stayed upright on your knees as he entered from behind, your hands flattened onto the bed once he was already thrusting in and out of you, he laid the rest of himself onto your back, his hands gripped your inner thighs as he gnawed against your ribcage. He made sure there was a trail of teeth marks on either side of your ribs.

You're nothing but a panting, whimpering, mess now, you never really needed to call out orders for Murdoc seemed to know how to satisfy you pretty well by now. His weird noises turned you on at these times, any other times you always thought it was an obscene nature he had. He ends up jerking you off with the skilled palm of his hand and twitchy thumb, you lull your head back onto his as he keeps on with his jagged thrusts.

He's humming and grunting between your feminine cries of lust, he digs his nails into certain parts of your arse that makes you shiver and shake in response, you hear him cum over your own sigh of release, you found it cute how he would spas out when he came, that was all thanks to the turrets he had.

As soon as you fell onto the bed, he followed, with his arms wrapped around your torso in a death grip, he wasn't gonna let anyone have his rare blue prize, this was his band and he made it clear that he claimed you over anyone else... That special feeling would rise and fall within you, maybe all of those beatings were worth it you just weren't sure why he did them to you. Your hands met the foot of the bed and you closed your eyes for sleep. 'It will be alright in the end, and if things aren't alright, then it's not the end...'

 


	7. Empathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Communication is key.

When you awoke, Murdoc wasn't on top of you, instead he was already down in a bottle of rum, there he sat on the bed, fully clothed thank the gods, with his legs spread and on his laptop chatting with their fans as per usual, you saw him typing away at some person who asked why he beat 2d so much, your face eventually neared his when you've sat up from your laying position.

In response he shoved you away, not wanting you to know what he was typing. This bothered you somewhat but you took your mind off of it by going to take a piss. Something was always up with that old goth... He intrigued your imagination everytime you two were alone together, you've seen it in his glazed over eyes how he kept you in cliffhanger mode each and every time he brought up a subject of the past. This made you push him further over his limits and boundaries, resulting in a knot in the head of course.

Murdoc has his own definition of privacy. As did everyone else but his is what stuck out to you the most... Always on the computer, chatting, negotiating, becoming smarter none the less... How he had friends from over seas was always the kicker. That and his phone call antics... He seemed to always have someone who was right for the job. In fact, you were sure he kept an address book somewhere or some type of agenda... You kept your nose out of it, in fear of it getting broken and as smashed as his own.

You sighed, stepping out of the bathroom to zip your fly, you realize you have nothing to do for entertainment, you never did... Sure at plastic beach you had fish to look at and watch get eaten but here is just like Kong. Minus Russel and Noodle. Noodle had her own life now, and Russel, well, he was as independent as Murdoc was, but more reliable... You were once again stuck here with nothing to do but watch Murdoc on his laptop for about a whole twenty four hours a day.

In a way your life was boring, it had no finesse... Only the slightest bit of romance came along with it, you knew if you'd brought home a bird, Murdoc would hate you forever, just like it always has been. Your time in Crawley had been much more fun than this boring old goth. Even if it was just the funfair you still got to start and stop the rides, and even watch your father fix them if they were broken... Too bad your father is dead now... Not because of Murdoc, but natural causes, you praised the lord for that.

You feel as though Murdoc has done enough in your life... And Murdoc however obviously feels he's unfinished or incomplete. But you yourself have felt done for years... You insisted on getting counseling, and you did get some back at plastic beach, but even that was a pain in the ass for it was almost always over the phone and you never got perfect signal cause you were out in the middle of nowhere... Murdoc noticed your needs of someone to talk to, so you just sort of opened up to him the whole time you were on that dreadful island Murdoc called home. It sure as hell wasn't home to you but it beats being bored as hell anywhere else.

Once you finally got the courage to talk to him while on his laptop he just simply stared blankly at the screen as you talked. Listening to only the main parts of the conversation, like, "Why do you want me here?" Or, "Is this forever?"

The album had been finished for a whole week now. The two of you were just finishing tiny little interviews that marked the face of the earth. The two of you. Just... The two of you made you feel a bit uneasy and it also at times made you feel lost and loose on the grip of reality. It was clear both of you had problems but you were the worst of all it seemed. You watched Murdoc close his laptop and begin to nervously tap against it with his nails. It was always the same response, "Because I love you."

"But why?"

"Because I do, do ya not want that?"

"Murdoc, of course I want ya ta love me, i's jus' that... It doesn't feel right yanno?"

"Ya seem to like what I do to ya though mate, don't go turnin' this into some emotional bullshit-"

"Murdoc, jus' listen to me, I can't do this anymore... It has put a dull in my life-"

"What're ya sayin' ya want more excitement?!" He was getting frustrated. Like you, he's never had a serious relationship before...

"N-no... I just want to know if I'm free..."

"Free?! My blue?! FREE?!" He throws his laptop onto the bed and violently sits you down on the bed, he gripped your thighs, "Thar ain't no way I'm lettin' ya go! I've worked too hard for you an yet ya go an try this shit on me?!" He laughs an evil scowl escaped from his lips.

"I told ya before, an I'll tell ya again, yer mine dullard. Nothin's gonna change that ya hear me?!"

"BUT WHAT IF I WANT TO GO OUT?!"

Hearing you raise your voice was always a shock to him, he lays you on the bed, pins you, and looks you dead in the eyes, "N. O."

"But what if you were there with me?" You were beginning to whimper and this brought down his threats.

"Mayybeeee....but you are to stay by my side at all times ya hear?!"

You nod quickly in response, afraid to get hit in the head.

"C-Can I ask ya jus' one fing?..."

"Wot is it?!" His head had started hurting, he hated yelling while he was drinking.

"Why do ya do this to me?"

Murdoc sighed heavily and ended up releasing you, standing up, turning his back towards you and folding his arms. It was phase one all over again.

"Murdoc please, jus' tell me an I'll get off yer back-"

"Fine, listen good, I'm tired o' repeatin' meself!"

You nod and sat up, watching him sit next to you in the process.

"Ya wanna know why I call ya faceache? Because I was called that. I jus' wanted to hear what it sounded like whenever I said it... It was never really directed to you. Ya wanna know who me bully was? He went by the name of Tony Chopper. Jus' call 'em Chopper okay?"

You nod and continue to listen to him.

"Anyway, I never got revenge on that arse, so I figured why not get revenge on not him but you instead... Definitely not the best decision of me entire life but it was all I could do to get ya ta notice me..."

Notice him? In like... The love way right? You kept your thoughts to yourself and waited till the end to ask questions.

"In all honesty, I jus' wanted to be noticed yanno?... I felt like I was the only person in the world... Me dad didn't help, he jus' made it worse, Hannibal, he was just in jail most of his life. An then I realize, I was much better than Hannibal an me dad put together so I thought, hey, let's show this blue haired guy whose bloody boss aroun' 'ere and so 'ere we are today messin' aroun' isn't that lovely?..."

You tilt your head wondering if that was the end of it, he was just quiet for a good two minutes until he spoke up, "D-do ya get me mate? The entire reason you are here, is to keep me entertained. Without ya I would be nothin' but a stone in tha ground yeah? Ya wouldn't want ta see me there do ya?..."

You shook your head. So all of these beatings were just because of some dude named Chopper?... Not because of the fact that he loved you? You were confused.

"Do you even love me then?..." You manage to get out.

"Wot kinda question is that love? Do I love you? Of course I do otherwise ya wouldn't be here right now-"

"What would you do without me Murdoc?"

"Well I... I'm not quite sure on that one... I would hate meself more than I do now... An blame meself for everything that has happened to all of us because it is indeed my fault. I'm not denying that one bit, i's jus' that I've always had that feeling deep within me bones that no one likes me. No one. Not a soul. No matter wot I do to impress them, they always want to leave in the end...ah, haven't you noticed I'm not too much into me libido anymore?..."

He was right on that... But why did he just drop everything just for you? You wouldn't dare to do that if it was just yourself against the world but with Murdoc it was always something different... Something new up his sleeve that he'd just pull out of nowhere to get people to like him even though he knows for sure they don't like him back.

It made sense in its own way, you guessed but it also felt like something was left out. But then again its Murdoc, something's always left out. He was the loophole of all loopholes and it seemed only you knew how to get out of them. Everyone else just felt stuck. But you knew what buttons to press.

You stuck your tongue out at all these things that were slowly unraveling in your mind, Murdoc of course went to bite it, and you let him, hearing those signature growls didn't keep you from wrapping your legs around him. He pulled you to where you were face to face, and simply said, "Don't leave." You just sort of shivered and nodded in response finally knowing a little bit of why he was loved by him. But it wasn't all confirmed yet, you just decided to be patient with him as you were throughout the years...

_'He'll come around...'_

 


	8. Birthday Wishes Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Remember wot we talked about yeah? About goin' out? Well consider yerself lucky mate, i's yer birthday."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday 2d!! 

As morning came along, the two of you staying up all night again for no good reason, you woke up at night anyways, from the previous shagging, you stared at the wall blankly for what seemed like forever until you finally realized what day it was today.... It was your birthday.

Your stomach growled as you neared your room with Murdoc, you saw him scribbling down something on paper, he didn't see you come in, but you felt he heard you, for he would squint to his side every now and then you just sidled your way to take a shower. He heard the water start in that accursed bath and instantly ran towards the door banging on it,

"N-NO 2d! DON'T YA DARE TAKE A BAFF IN THAR-..." he was still terrified of where the bath had taken him, you end up laughing at his paranoid antics, "I's alright muds, 'm jus' takin' a shower!!" You hear his dramatic wailing and his voice cracking in the midst of it made it even cuter, you sigh and step out, your wet feet splashing against the floor, you go to unlock the door and there stood a coward Murdoc who gripped the door hinges and growled at the bath.

You look at him and then the bath, "Murdoc i's alright love, i's jus' a bath... Wots the matter with you today?"

"I hate that bloody thing. It took me ta space without askin' me! I thought it was quite rude."

"It hasn't taken me ta space yet, I guess it's only after you yeah?" You click your tongue at him as he just squints harder. "Listen you, 'm only bein' nice today cause i's yer birthday-" You blinked at him, "But you're always nice ta me muds-"

"Now ya know thas' a lie wot the 'ell do ya take me for?!"

"A liar." You giggle, patting the hairs that were sticking up on the back of his head. "Now could ya let me finish me shower so we can make plans for the day?-" he stared at you, looked at you up and down before saying, " 'm not gonna let that baff take you away from me. 'M stayin' right 'ere." He leans against the sink, watching you go back under the water. He leaves the door open for a sense of security, he can't trust this house one bit.

"Oi, do ya need clothes mate?"

"I was gonna get them when I get out, but now I fink you should jus' wait-" he sees a spider crawl up the shower head, he quickly reaches his arm out to Murdoc, "C-could ya get the spider out of 'ere?!" He noticed you were already huddled in the far end of the bath, he squinted, looking for it, he dug around for some tweezers and handled it between the tongs, it was a black widow, he prayed to Satan he wouldn't get bit and tossed it outside the window. He then proceeded back to 2d and saw him just standing there.

"Now I almost want you in here with me...that was scary-"

"Tha widow would've killed ya mate."

"You too! Now shut up you old goth! An' hand me a towel-"

"Did you even warsh yerself?!"

"Do we even have bathing necessities?!"

"Oh dear Satan, I hope we aren't here long...black widow infested..." He mumbled digging out some of his bathing products, if anything he wanted his man to smell like him. Although he did like the butterscotch that seemed to linger on 2d he just assumed it was some sort of girlish cologne he used but maybe it was just his natural scent...

He'd come back with the things and sat you on the edge of the tub, beginning to scrub away at your scalp, it had felt good thanks to Murdoc's claws, that seemed to be the only good thing about his long nails... That and whenever he would squeeze your arse but that was every so often. It wasn't an everyday thing as it was before in the past.

All was as it should be on this somewhat special day. You just wished Russel and Noodle were here. You had expected phone calls from them today at some point. And perhaps at least a days worth of a visit... You four needed to spend more time together it just wasn't always in the cards...

Murdoc had pushed you back under the water, and ridded his hands of excess soap as well as using the water on his hands for his own hair that stuck out in odd places. He smoothed out the fringes in the back, just those, the rest he left sticking up, it was a hairstyle he could get used to seeing, so it satisfied him none the less.

He'd noticed you were done rinsing and had put a generous amount of body wash in the palms of your hands and just sort of watched you through the shower curtain. It felt good to be clean.

Once you were done with everything, you shut the water off and reached out for a towel as Murdoc went to get one from their things he threw it to him and watched as you wrap it around your waist, tucking it in along the way of stepping out.

"See, no space." You kissed his cheek as he just scowled at the damned thing.

"Still not trustin' it." He folded his arms, following you out.

"Wot were you writin' down earlier?"

"OH THAT- OH WELL..." He clears his throat. "Tha wasn't supposed ta be until later... It was jus' somethin' stupid I wrote-nothin' important."

"Murdoc, did you make me a card?"

"N-NO. AN NO.... STOP IT YER GIVIN' ME THE SHAKES-" he wiggles his hips side to side as you just shake your head in response.

"You're really somefing ya know?"

"Ya, I know, 'm a real piece of work blah, blah, blah, i's part of my collapse yeah, yeah, the ol' throw around..."

"A-anyways. Would ya like to go somewhere jus' you and I? And the others if they so happen to catch up in the mix?..."

You were drying your hair when he said this, you just smile and nod at him as he throws a set of clothes at you, pants and all, he really did care.

"Ah, would ya like a cake mate? One with strawberries on it yeah?"

"Um, I wouldn't want it to come flying at me... So probably not?"

"Mmm... So just strawberries?" He was making those weird grunting noises and you just laugh awkwardly and say, "Yeah, jus' strawberries..." You slip on your pink socks and brown loafers and head out of the room with Murdoc following you behind, he did nothing to his appearance but slip on a pleather jacket.

He slid into the drivers seat of his red 1969 dodge charger, and started it up, he glanced at you, and then the road ahead of them. 'We got the power' still blasted from the speakers as they pulled out onto the road towards the first restaurant they could find, breakfast wise.

 


	9. Birthday Wishes Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuckin' tease.

"I wonder if traffic is like that everyday- 'm kinda glad we live on the outskirts...ah anyways love, where do ya wanna hit it?"

"Pancakes or croissants sound good-" you light a cigarette and end up just sharing it with Murdoc because you were feeling lazy today.

"So the ol pancake house yeah?..." You nod, putting your seat back in a laying position, while rolling down the window to flick your ashes. Murdoc squints at you as you prop your feet up on HIS dashboard. Now you were just teasing him. You were lucky his ass didn't pull over just to spank you and throw you in the back seat.

You hear him sigh heavily and tightly grip the steering wheel, he seemed to like feeling uptight all the time... Tight things were always a turn on- weather they were on himself or 2d, in this case you were hitting all of the targets. You weren't wearing your mom jeans today, in fact you just wore those to show them off... Today you wore tight denim jeans, with a white muscle top, perhaps the only set of clothes that came from plastic beach.

You then remind yourself that Murdoc chose these so it was really his own fault for making you look hot... It must've just hit him now too by the way his eyes flickered at you up and down, "Leaving me to pick tha clothing is just obscene..." He rubs his face and just continues to drive. You smirk at this. You were going to have fun today and it was written all over his face.

Before you pulled into IHOP you managed to prop your legs onto his lap without him breaking them, you assumed he was too focused on driving or just knew you were coming on to him just because it was your special day, either way he looked pretty frustrated by the way he parked the car and shoved your feet off of him. You could tell he was blushing too by the amount of scowling he did.

"Gimme that you arse!" He snatched your cigarette and ended up finishing what was left of it, again you tease him by sitting on the hood of his car. He glares at you, "You're on thin ice mate, I'd watch your back~" You kiss the corner of his lips and that was the last straw, he threw the cigarette on the ground, crushing it with the heel of his boot and jumped on top of you.

"NO MURDOC, NOT IN THA PARKIN' LOT, 'M SORRY, I WON'T DO IT AGAIN, JUS' LEMME GO-" He was already trying to straddle you, but your long legs got in the way and for once you were thankful for having them, you cock blocked him several times with your knees, and finally he just gave up and swatted you.

You sigh and rub your cheek, it was like you were traveling with an unregistered sex offender... Your lucky it was just a swat and not a handprint. You could still feel his nails... They probably left paper cuts but it only stung and by now they were unnoticeable under the weird lighting.

Murdoc had registered both of you in and you were led to a table for two. This was kind of awkward, seeing as though you were used to sitting in booths, you just end up putting one foot in between Murdoc's legs for comfort as he scanned the menu looking for booze.

You laid a hand against your cheek and gazed at your own menu, debating on having a stack of blueberry pancakes or an omelet... You decided on having the stack of pancakes with a side of sausage. The waiter came around to take drinks and you simply said two glasses of orange juice. Murdoc was still wanting his booze but settled for unsweetened tea instead. As much as he hated it, it was better than coffee.

You then wait for Murdoc to make his decision, he settled on ordering the same thing as you, okay, two can play this game. He just gave you the excuse of the menu being complicated.

"You would just rather be at a bar instead."

"Yes and yes. But I decided ta be nice today ya know? Give ya a lil somethin' somethin' for yer birthday~"

"Whatever, ya better be takin' me to other places an not jus' here."

"Fine, fine, where else do ya wanna hit?"

"Pet shop."

"2d, how old are you?"

"PET. SHOP."

"For the love of Satan 'm not takin' you there."

"Yes you are." Your foot neared his crotch.

"Fook off you."

"Pet shop."

"Uhh... Bloody 'ell..."

"I wanna see animals-"

"I know wot it is dumbass."

"Jus' take me there."

"Fine- will ya jus' shut up?..."

"I love you."

"Now tha was jus' uncalled for."

"But I do-"

" 'm not here."

"Muds no-"

"Who are you?"

"Murdoc stop it-"

"Excuse me? Ello, wot, are you 2d?...from Gorillaz?"

"I get it okay?"

"Are we on tha same page?"

"Yes-" you grip the table, he smirks as the plates of food are put down.

You loved him and hated him let's just leave it at that. The two of you had staring contests as you ate, Murdoc of course won that, the man seemed to never blink in general which was ominous in itself. You just assumed it came with the package of being loony.

He paid for your meals and off you went back to the car, you thanked him by wrapping your arms around his neck. You were really pushing it today, he was in no mood for sugar coating. He wanted the whole honey jar not just a spoonful.

You then insisted on driving yourself to the pet shop if Murdoc didn't want to go, but Murdoc rejected it for he never trusted you behind the wheel of a car for your eyesight was always questionable. Come to think of it you rarely ever have driven in a car... You didn't think you had a license nor Murdoc... Even though Murdoc kept saying he had one, you never saw the proof. He was just a record blowing driver, who didn't seem to really give a shit about the police.

So he drove you to PETsMART so you could look around to see animals in cages and aquariums, this wasn't very amusing to him but anything that made you happy he went for. He just sat around and looked at reptiles such as snakes and lizards. You, being the animal lover you are, looked at every kind there was to see, you fancied birds.

They sang just like you did. It was too bad they didn't have a tamed bluebird, you would've got it, so you looked around for any blue parakeets, you finally found one, it just so happened to have a mate next to it, it was a yellowish green. They reminded you of yourself and Murdoc, stuck together in a big cage.

They were labeled as lovebirds and seemed to always come in two's. The price was decent, and it was your birthday so you were bound to get them. Besides, they would keep you company in the position you were in now. You just had to come up with names for them. You then remember Cortez, ah, there's a name for Murdoc's, you went with the simple name of Blue for yours that also just so happened to be your own pet name courtesy of Murdoc.

Speaking of which, you went to find him, you told him about the birds, this put him in a better mood since he still missed his little jailbird... He went to look at them himself, he was sure to give blue lots of petting, and so you got the birds. And their names being Cortez and Blue just felt really right.


	10. Birthday Wishes Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had a really great day okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Birthday Finale. Then it is back to being serious again.

The two of you left PETsMART with your birds and other equipment for their cage and stuff, Murdoc just hoped they didn't chirp so much like the birds did outside, he wanted peace and quiet during his hangover pastimes. Murdoc's next stop would have been the bar or a cathouse, but it was your day so he wanted to make it last...

It was mid-morning and you were back home to drop off the birds, in the midst of setting the cage up and slipping them inside, your phone rang, Murdoc was somewhere else looking around the place to see where all these spirits were coming from it seems to have been from some sort of ritual that was unfinished. Since Murdoc was skilled at these kinds of things, he thought he could seal them up quite nicely as he did in Kong, there was more at Kong than in the Spirit House.

To Murdoc these were just common house spirits that can easily be taken out with dream catchers and other protection spells he knew of, he did not plan on having any nightmares like those he had back at Kong, there was no way in hell he would relive them. The bathroom here seemed to be his main concern, the tub itself was a portal that he intended on closing, he spoke Latin fluently thanks to the many Satanists books he's read over the years, one look over this house and it would be spirit free.

Once looking around, he heard your voice from upstairs, he went up to see what was wrong and there you were with your phone in your hand and Noodle on the other end.

"Oi, Noodle, are ya back home yet?! Ya do realize wot day it is-"

"Yes! I know. We need to celebrate!," she gasps and has the perfect idea to end the day, "There is a movie theatre downtown showing a 3D zombie film~ It is quite new, it started showing yesterday-"

"Yeah Noodle, that sounds great! Is Rus' aroun'?" Hearing you ask that, Noodle looks around, she was currently at the mall checking out girls, Russel must be at some sort of sports clothing store, "No, but I know where he is, I can call him so he can call you if you want or you and Murdoc can meet us here~"

"Ah, yeah, Murdoc and I can meet you there Noods, we just got back from breakfast, and uh, oh, we have birds now-"

"Awh, are you saying Murdoc took you out on a date?~ And what kind of birds are they?"

"I guess you could say that.. Yeah a date." Your eyes go up to Murdoc as he just stands there staring at the wall, clearly hiding a blush on his face. "And the birds are called lovebirds, funny fing is we named 'em Cortez an Blue, an Cortez looks a lot like Murdoc an Blue looks like me- birds sing an I do too so- I thought it would be good company for Murdoc and I yanno?"

"Awh, that's so sweet, I'm glad you two are finally getting along... It took you long enough to realize you two have feelings for each other..." In all honesty that's what Noodle had wanted for herself, but not something off the deep end like their relationship, something that was a much smoother ride.

"Oh, before we go, how are you an Russel?"

"Oh, we're just fine 2d, there's nothing to worry about. You just need to focus on you and Murdoc. I don't want to see you two back at it again... I guess I just want the best for you both..."

"Ah, right back at ya Noods... An things are goin' great over 'ere... Murdoc's been really good about his temper, sure there's the occasional ups and downs, but we're gettin' there..."

"Oh, well that's good... Has he considered getting help?"

"That isn't quite what he wants... Ya see, I think all he wants is meself an him..."

Murdoc just sort of excluded himself from the room and went back to what he was doing with the spirits, he hated this kind of talk.

"Oh, well if that gets him to stop hurting you, then I suppose it's the way to go, my point is 2d, are you happy?..."

"Happy? Wot makes you fink I'm not happy?- Ah... The only fing that bothers me is you two not being here... An don't take this the wrong way but it isn't because of Murdoc is it?..."

"No, why? Is he over thinking again?"

"No... He's been serious lately... It kind of scares me but not as bad as he did... He's been saying no one likes him..."

"Well that isn't true... We're all just too busy with our own lives..."

"Thas the sad part... He feels like he doesn't have a life to live... So he puts me in it to fill the void of having a life."

"Oh... What about his brother is he... Ya know still alive?"

"He doesn't like talkin' bout his family Noods, you know this..."

"Yeah... It sounds to me like he's gone insensitive... And the only person he goes to is you because he feels you are the only one who understands... He feels like everyone else he talks to is a big push over..."

"I guess that explains it... But how do you regain sensitivity?"

You hear Noodle laugh, "You're silly, he's gone numb. The only thing he feels is you. He doesn't feel anyone else... You can't bring back sensitivity- it's just you have it or you don't and Murdoc doesn't have it..."

"Is gone numb a bad thing?"

"It can be... Let's just say he's going to be really protective around you, and giving you whatever you want. He feels as though you deserve it for what he's done to you in the past, this is his way of making up for it."

"Well I knew that... I jus' didn't know about the going numb part...but I thank you for ya input...I guess I will see you soon, uh, where are ya at?"

You grab a pen and start writing on your arm, "So I got southeast 15th street and the place is called BowMan's mall?" Noodle confirms and sends you on your way.

"Murdoc! Where are you? We 'ave to go-" you make sure the birds have food and water and put a towel over the cage, you then go and look around for him.

"Murdoc?..." You saw him on the floor, in the living room in front of a wall, sitting cross-legged and his body at least two inches off the ground. You just silently watched him do a cleansing spell from upstairs, you knew not to interrupt him at these times, for they could be dangerous and end badly.

You watch him pet the wall and stand up, the air felt a lot less tense now, things were a lot more homey feeling... You just continued your way to the door and nothing was said on the way out to the car.

You made your way to the mall and met up with Noodle, who had been in the same spot for hours now, the food court that is, now they just had to find Russel.

Russel was in a store by the name of u-me it was a store that sold half and half of sports and classy clothing, but mainly sports. He'd been buying himself a lot of shoes lately, by popular brands like Jordans or Nike's... He liked to stay in style, once he saw you he gave you a bear hug and wished you a happy birthday. You hugged back and thanked him, it felt as though you haven't seen these two in years but yet they were just a phone call away...

"Okay, okay um, Russel are you ready to go downtown? It isn't far from here, you know that..." Noodle was already keeping an eye on Murdoc to keep him out of jail because of underage contact or just plain pervertedness in general.

"Yeah, de can jus' follow us."

And with that you and Murdoc followed Russel and Noodle out of the mall, they knew their way around more than you guys did because Murdoc only knew where the nearest bar was and quick stops where he could get cigarettes or cigars. He'd started smoking more cigars lately... He was cutting back a bit because he realized he just wanted to drink more than smoke.

You actually expected this to be like another date for the two of you...and it was, just Murdoc was starting to get a little antsy without a drop of booze in him all day... He's learned he can't live without it, and it was scarce, the only places that provided it was a liquor store or a bar with or without chicks.

He did however mention that his life with chicks had started to get boring, and that life in general was getting boring so you felt as though you were the only excitement in his life. It was quite sad, but the two of you seemed to make it out just fine most of the time...

You finally made it to the movies and you're quite excited to have spent it with your three lifetime friends. The word best never entered your mind and that bothered you but not as much as the fact that Murdoc has gone numb and just for you was unsettling enough as it is... You feared by the next album he'd be shipped off to a mental facility wrapped in a straight jacket.

The weird part was he seemed to always have an odd obsession for you... Every chance he took was a given to him. To you it was just plain creepy but you got used to him and made it this far with him so you could say you weren't doing half bad with handling yourself in the worst of situations...

You tried focusing on the movie, but the entire time, Murdoc was on your mind, you were concerned for him just as much as everyone else was and you hoped to sort things out with him and the way he feels about you... It just felt weird how everything turned out in the end.

All in all you had a good day, a good birthday at that. Even Russel and Noodle stayed the night afterwards and you ate out, Chinese of course, talked about the movie and how some parts were too much for you, like a zombie eating a heart or some other organ other than brains, you ended the night with Murdoc and your two birds, and strawberries, all was right again, but you knew it wouldn't last and that's what killed you the most...


	11. Selfishness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone cares so much about 2d. 
> 
> Everyone thought you were the bad guy. 
> 
> Now everyone expects you to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Murdoc's POV. Lots of angst.

You lay there, the smell of strawberries filled the air, what did you do last night? Oh yeah, it was 2d's birthday... You remembered you only had one glass of wine and then passed out. Nothing before that seemed to have occurred... Was anyone worried about you? Probably not. The only person you felt was 2d. Only he cares. The rest to hell with 'em. Especially that loaf Donald Trump. Him first to hell. You would take him down yourself but you'd have to make yourself scarce and you felt like you were bad at doing that.

Here you are back in London. Not specifically your hometown but far from it. Stoke on Trent was just looming over you like the darkest storm cloud. You wondered if anyone was home, if anyone cared you were gone all of these years, you felt so... Alone in this world... Phase one had started kicking back old habits of not talking to people, worrying about what was under your skin only, not anyone else's.

You raised your head slightly, loathing to be alive, you felt like a vampire, you glance over at the birdcage, those things hadn't made a peep. Perhaps they heard you the first time or your mind just wasn't even here anymore. The lights are on, no one is home. In your head, the only one that is home is 2d.

Speaking of which the blueberry himself was curled up to your side, you were in your room, planning to do something you might regret like always... You thought about visiting your hometown, you did, but it just didn't seem worth it if no one was going to be there... Your dad was probably dead by now, drowned in his own liquor, like you would have been right now if it weren't for making that accursed deal with Satan and that lovely sounding bass guitar that gave you a life.

Life, yes. You supposed you have craved one of those. You couldn't tell if you were alive or dead anymore, all you heard were Satan's whispers and 2d's sweet voice. Everyone else including Noodle and Russel were just static. You were fading away quite nicely you'd admit but you couldn't help but wonder what the hell everyone else has been up to...

You haven't seen your brother in years, not since you left home for Crawley, nor dad in years, sometimes it broke you. The loneliness from plastic beach still lingered and you felt estranged to talk to anyone with boobs, that awestrucked you as well as the others. The oddest idea came through your head, 'Wot if my band saw me hometown? Wot would they think about it? They'd take one look at me and go, yep, thas where a Murdoc is from.'

'A Murdoc' yes... It fit wonderfully... I suppose at times I miss me dad... Not so much Hannibal but jus' me dad...You haven't cried about this since Demon Days. You rarely cried at all, even if you did it would be by yourself or with 2d. You let one tear out of one eye, before slapping yourself. "Ya can't look weak in front of a band who knows you're not weak."

2d had felt you shaking, anytime you did that it was something bad, he woke up and hugged you. He could've sworn he heard whimpering coming from you but it could have been just the birds...

"Murdoc, are ya alrigh'?"

You shook your head.

"Do ya wanna talk bout it?"

You stiffened and sighed heavily, this was taken as a no to you.

"If it makes ya feel any better, we all miss home yeah? Thas jus' somefing ya gotta risk as a band..."

"I'S BEEN WELL OVER FORTY YEARS, AN ME DAD IS DEAD, I'VE SPENT NO TIME WITH 'EM. DOESN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND THAT?-"

2d wasn't expecting this big of a lash to him in the morning, but you figured as much coming from an already broken hearted man...

"My dad is dead too ya know... An I guess ya could say I spent some time with him growing up...jus' think about Noodle, she probably doesn't have any parents... An Russel, he's jus' all by 'emself it looks like."

"Thas not the same... I don't think me dad went to a single show of mine... Do ya know how much this messes with me? I feel really useless right now. I can't even go back home without no one being there waiting for me- the only one waiting for me on hand and foot is you mate."

He blinks at this as if it just hit him to realize what's been going through them all these years. "Murdoc, how long have you had the desire to do all of this?"

You just stare at him, your eyes twitch slightly at the question, but you answer him anyways, "At the time I wanted to leave home... So, about me whole life actually...why does it matter?!"

"Wot if you had the same desire to be with me?"

"Sweet Satan, I jus' wanna go home..."

"Join tha club."

"Wot?!-"

"The res' of us wanna go home too, but we're doin' this because ya told us to... Now ya jus' backing out of it?"

Your eyes widen at this, you always put yourself before them, always. But now that you think about it, this band was your break AWAY from home. But why did you want to go back all of a sudden? Just because you missed your dad? It was time to think about what other people say and not just about what you say.

Your face went back into the pillows of the bed you laid in, and 2d just thought it was stress finally getting to you, he also seemed to have a bit of sympathy on you missing your dad, but where is all this stuff about desire coming from? Did you desire living with just him? Or did you desire going back home and just rolling in resentment and forgotten years with dad?

This made you sick just thinking about it, you thought back a long while nearly making it all the way to the beginning again, you stop and look back at 2d, grabbing his arm and saying four simple words, "I wanna be with you."


	12. Velcro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're just stuck together, they'll never leave each other, in fact now they CAN'T leave each other.

If you think back on it now, you'll just be hearing things, but you were sure you just heard Murdoc say that he wanted to be with you... But why you? Out of every woman he fucked and slayed, why you?! You thought about it long and hard before returning an answer for him.

Let's see, there was Crawley, then Kong, then the beach, and now here... Had he been feeling this way ever since they met? Was it love at first sight for him? For you certainly not, you still feel trapped, but for him it's like heaven and he's lost in it.... Now you had nowhere else to go... Now it was really just you and him until one of you died or got sick of being around each other...

You weren't sure how to get out of this thick chemical load you've been stuck in with your captor. You just figured why not... It's for his happiness... You felt like your happiness didn't matter... You ask him that instead,

"Does my happiness matter to you?"

He looked saddened by your response so he just sort of looked away, not knowing what to say.

"I will be with ya, I jus' gotta know if I got me freedom..."

He really didn't want you to go, he stuck to you like velcro, you weren't sure if you felt the same way about him, but then again you didn't want to see him all alone again... You were once again torn between your own freedom and his attachment to you.

If you went out, you were scared he would try to commit suicide, if he went out you were scared you wouldn't have a leader to guide you where you needed to go, he was your guide, you were his follower. The Shepard and his sheep... Or more like the Satanist and his goat.

You had no choice in between... You both needed each other, hell, you probably all needed each other, it was just how you were raised. Sure before this whole relationship thing was confirmed between the two of you, you looked up to Murdoc as an older brother, protection wise, you never saw him as a lover, you lived through the abuse, you tried to help him numerous times but you just couldn't get through his thick skin.

Then you thought, well, if I could live with the abuse in the past, then I sure as hell can live through it now... Just maybe this time he would show you more love than strength...

"Murdoc, I will stay with you, I just fear what we will end up as yanno?..."

"Wot do ya mean?"

"There's jus' a lot o' resentment..."

"Between us? No, no, 2d, between us there's jus' self denial..."

"I guess I could forgive ya fer wot ya done ta me, but... Thas' jus' wot's making all of this complicated..."

"Wot if I give ya freedom? Wot would ya do with that ah?" He folded his arms.

"....I wouldn't leave ya... I would always come back... I probably can't live without you either... I jus' find it a bit weird...jus' me n you..."

He tilts his head, "Well ya, it is a bit weird mate, but we could always work it out n the end yeah? It doesn't always haveta be this way, I jus' want ya by me side when 'm sleepin' is all... Jus' so I could feel somethin' yanno?"

"I guess so... But now 'm jus' scared of leavin' ya alone..."

"Mmmm... Ya me too actually... I never really trusted meself alone either... I get that..."

"So are we jus' sorta stuck like this?"

"Ya mate, I suppose we are..."

"I guess we could make the best of it, yeah?"

"I think we're doin' a good job don't ya think?"

"Yes... There are times when you get on edge but... Ya gettin' a hold of yaself..."

"Mmm... Thas good though isn't it?"

"Yeah, stop denyin' yaself, I fink you've done great all this time..."

"Ahhh thanks mate, I jus' wish I could see the greatness of meself..."

"Do ya need time alone to do that?"

"No, 'm fine here with you mate, besides are the others still here or did they already leave?..."

"I can go check, stay here yeah?" He nods and goes to get one of the birds out of their cage. Specifically Blue. You then go downstairs to see if Noodle and Russel are still here, Noodle was on the couch, Russel was probably doing his morning routine, bloody hell it was still morning?... You then go back upstairs to see Murdoc petting Blue. You smile and go get Cortez.

"These birds are real docile ya know that D?"

"Ya I know... Kinda like how we are sometimes..."

"I wonder if they ever fight-"

"Murdoc I wouldn't- they would prolly eat each other..." You laugh and he just rolls his eyes.

"Now I might eat yer arse an cock, but not ye yerself..."

"Wonder what I would taste like..."

"Butterscotch."

"Wot? I thought blood's not supposed ta have a taste Murdoc,"

"Well then why do zombies eat things with blood on em? Ah? Ever think of that one?"

"No- maybe it does... I wouldn't try it 'm not a vampire... I leave that kinda stuff ta you~"

"Of course~"

"Le's turn forever you an me yeah?"

"Dents, ya really think-"

"Yes. I do. I want to see how this goes..."

"Well alright then, le's take a spin~ oh I miss me Winnie..."

"Me too... There was a lotta memories in there...maybe we could get a new one yeah?"

"Surely we could they aren't that expensive... At least mine wasn't..."

"It would be more fun for you, because you could go an trash it out again~"

"True. We should buy another one."


	13. He's My Collar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Winniebago, new memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is total trash lmao. But it's funny.

Later that same day you went out to buy a new Winnebago that had to be the same color as before as well as the same shape and everything else, Murdoc had even told you what happened to his older one, he said it was burnt down with Kong for he kept it in the garage most of the time along with their geep that got sold to a German guy he still hasn't found out who sold it though, he had a pretty good idea it was 2d but he never said anything but a bunch of threats he probably didn't even mean.

Once the Winnie was replaced, it never felt like home to Murdoc, maybe because all of those pictures were gone, he'd like to be briefly reminded that his dad was watching him, but that's gone too. He did stupid things when he was young, he had to admit burning down Kong was something he regretted doing for it was much more haunted than this place and a bunch of spirits were angered as a follow up.

The cactuses he had were straight from Mexico, not store bought, he loved Mexico, Latin girls were his thing, not so much as any old slag on the streets of London, he had been picky about it sometimes to the point where you had to speak Spanish in order to get a good banging. He liked speaking in tongues, it made him feel like Satan himself.

Basically everything had to be replaced, from chairs to the real Egyptian silk sheets upon the small mattress that had been inside, once that was done it started feeling more homey and he went back to his old ways. He had already stored some liquor inside, he began drinking out of a bottle of rum and is laid on his side with his dick out and covered by the slimmest of blankets.

2d had come home with Russel, Noodle was left at a spa getting massages and what not's, she was surrounded by girls, that was heaven enough for her. Being a lesbian had been hard for she was with three grown men who fought constantly... Girls just seemed to be on the same page about it so she felt they understood her better than men.

The Winnie was parked in the fields in the back of the house, it didn't necessarily have a fence around it, but it would do, they weren't close to any other houses anyways. You helped Russel with groceries and then went upstairs to check on your birds, you got a text from Murdoc, telling you to meet him in the Winnie. This could only mean one thing, you just slipped down to nothing to make it easier for him to violate you.

You walk towards the back of the house opening the back door and stepping outside only to see what had looked like the same Winnie that had been burnt down in the past, it felt a bit scary walking towards it, you knew it wasn't the exact same one, the things inside had to be different, there was no way he could have replaced everything, boy were you wrong...

You stepped inside of it and took one look around, it was oddly similar. Except there was nothing in the back... Yet. You jumped when you saw that the bed had been in a weird place, and was quite small, you saw him glance up at you he lifted the blankets and stuck out his tongue that had still been inhumanly long, you shook your head with a major blush spread across your face, you hesitatingly walk towards him.

You sit on the bed, he yanks you down on top of him, his dick grazes against yours through the seams of your briefs, making you blush more than before, you had no dominant experience and you weren't about to just awkwardly ride this beast. Being top made you feel awkward, you feared you would fail at wanting him. You feared you would get swatted at, a lot of things went through your mind right now, and he just growls and goes directly for your neck with those sharp canines.

You wail and squint your eyes shut, you were shaking and wrapping your legs around him already your dick twitched underneath him as he sucks and laps away at your bloodshed, you tingle and thrust upwards arching your back in the process, he then had an idea of how to get you to fuck him, he slid down your briefs and loaded you inside of him, he'd gotten addicted to ass fucking on plastic beach since you were his only release.

He never let go of your neck for that's what got you thrusting, he did however let go of it when he was flung on his hands and knees, he growled and stuck his nails into the wall and began scratching loudly whenever you fucked him slow and hard, memories from plastic beach swarmed your mind into a never ending threshold of nonstop fucking.

There was a sensor in your mind that reminded you that this made Murdoc feel the slightest bit of pain afterwards, and to you that felt good for he had caused you pain in the past so it was sort of like revenge sex for you... You wanted to violate him the same way he violated you, but at times you were just too scared to enter those lust filled sides of him.

' _A sensor in my mind, HE's my collar.'_

_'HE's the one I'm running with...'_

_'He's the one I'm running with...'_

Those words rang through your mind, the voices had come during these times and it had only made you hornier, you had been off the pills for a couple of months now, it left you high and dry with pent up sexual frustration, with pills you just felt depressed and delusional, without them you felt as though you had a life to live.

You had felt yourself cumming whenever you felt Murdoc pull you down, face to face, you go unnoticed whenever he begins making out with you, you were never one to shout such lewd things unless you were told to or your were the one being fucked, so after that short coming, he looked up at you and scowled slightly,

"Did ye jus' cum n me?!"

"I um, I guess so?- 'm sorry but I was lost in tha moment-"

"Ah, okay then I think I did too, I really wasn't paying attention-"

"We both weren't paying attention."

"No, not really."

"A-are we done then?"

"Bloody 'ell no, jus' say somethin' next time damn!"

"You're blushing-"

"SHADDUP YOU."


	14. Nobody's Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murdoc feels no one was home all of his life, well... Nothing has changed there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming in for a closing, next I have to work on Out Of Body and Empire Ants✨ Also, this is sort of a sneak peek of how Out Of Body starts, now that Murdoc knows his dad is dead, he wants to send a message to him, and he can't do that cause he's not one with God. So he has 2d to do it. So there ya have it, Out Of Body explained from this chapter-✌

You woke up from a cat nap in the new Winnie, Murdoc wasn't around and you appeared to be a moving vehicle... You scratch your head and lift it up to the small slitted window above you, you squint your eyes, trees were passing by quickly as you stumble up to the front of the camper.

Just the sight of Murdoc driving scared you, your past experiences with him weren't too pretty considering one of them was a wake up call to reality... You peek your head and watch him try to stay on the road. He was bad at alignment, but other than that no wrecks so far... But you had no doubt this was gonna end in a wreck simply because well, it was Murdoc....

You worked up the courage to sit yourself in the passenger seat. He exchanged a glance at you and then back onto the road. The two of you were silent as you remembered meeting Russel for the first time. You thanked god your history didn't repeat itself.

Murdoc just continued driving as normal... You wondered where he was going, then it hit you,

"Murdoc, ya aren't takin' us home are ya-"

"If it were up to me dents, believe me I would..."

"Remembah we're in London again-"

"Ya, I know that... Why so curious all of tha sudden?"

"I's jus' ya drivin' pretty close to Trent-"

"I- I am?..." He squints through the dashboard at the brown guide signs of London, 'sure enough, stoke on trent was just six miles away'.

"Are ya wantin' ta show me round?..."

"S-sort of, yeah sure why not..."

"Ya seem ta be a bit nervous-"

"O' course 'm nervous dullard! It's me hometown, an I haven't been 'ere in bloody ages!"

"O-Okay then what're we doin' here?"

"I jus' wanna see if anythin' changed yanno?..."

You turn to face him as he just sort of retaliates, "I-I mean we don't have to if ya don't wanna-"

"If it makes ya feel better-"

Murdoc sighed heavily and kept driving closer and closer until he could see the outline of the town straight ahead amongst the fog.

"Ya see that dead ahead mate?..."

"Is that it? Is that why ya been actin' so weird lately?" You stuck your head out the window and peeked around, it looked completely deserted, like no one was alive...

"Every planet we reach is dead..." He mumbles stepping out of the Winnie and slamming the door shut. "This place has always been shrouded in thick fog... Nobody could ever really find it unless ya were this close to it..."

"Looks like a ghost town ta me-"

"Thas cause it is- well not technically speaking but... Ya know wot I mean..."

You nod and get out to stretch your legs, "Ah, we should turn on tha headlights so we can find our way back-"

"Good idea mate, don't wanna get killed out here...I doubt people remember tha looks o' me..." He then flicks on the headlights and fog lights as they lit a path just straight ahead of them that looked like a grungy-run-down apartment complex, infamously known as a flat.

You stayed close beside Murdoc for you didn't know what was out lurking in that thick fog, you really hoped Murdoc knew his way around here... Plastic Beach was getting to you even more now. Few people had roamed the streets of Trent, that was normal, though the place itself was set to look like an old western film, some folks had looked to wear some sort of doctor mask that covered their mouths to keep from spreading disease... This place must have been truly toxic for the discoloration of Murdoc's skin...

Murdoc looked around to see any familiar faces, everyone looked pretty new here, including the kids, they were dressed differently from what Murdoc had worn back in the day, he was really here for one thing, home... He wanted to know if someone really was there waiting for him... And if there wasn't then he would continue living the rest of his life with you.

As you edged closer to the center of the town, you'd noticed a large gargoyle that had been in the town forever it had been the one on the cover of D-sides. It was possible that Murdoc had gotten a backdrop of that exact gargoyle and used it on a green screen when taking group photo shoots. It became a sort of mascot for Gorillaz...

"Oi, ya, that gargoyle with tha wings... Tha was sort of a sign of hope ta me as a kid... I'd look at it an have big dreams..."

"So... That was part of ya inspiration? Wot really got ya finkin' bout Gorillaz anyways?..."

"Ya... It looked like a gorilla ta me... So I jus' made that the name of my band...after this here gargoyle..."

"Did ya ever tell yaself that you were being raised in a melancholy town where people never smile?"

"What else did ya think feel good inc was about mate? If I remember correctly I think we filmed here-"

"I fink we did... So you've been here a couple of times ya jus' now startin' ta remember..."

"I guess so... Ahh anyways we better make this quick, I don't want ta hang around here fer too long..."

"Why so hasty? Didn't ya want to come here in tha first place?"

"Ya but this place even scares me at times... Now it could be me old age, but still..."

"An here I thought you were the tough guy..." You fold your arms and shove him further.

"Alright, alright, come on then, I can at least show ya me flat..."

So the two of you went, walking along the discolored cobblestone sidewalks towards Murdoc's old home, there seemed to be no one living there... He and Hannibal used to be next door neighbors... Even though they were practically brothers, Hannibal couldn't live with their fathers abuse and had moved in with several of his friends. In fact, Hannibal was his real inspiration of starting a band... Then came Satan... The deal that changed the rest of his life and here he was revisiting the spot he said he'd avoid.

He walked up the few steps that led to the main front of the building, he kept going up the stairs until he reached the middle section of the complex, apartment number 606, he reaches for the knob and turns it from the looks of it nobody was home. He steps inside, you follow him close behind, not wanting him to get hurt in any way shape or form for he was your guide after all.

"Jus' as I thought... Nobody here but the walls, chipped paint, n holes of the sorrows..."

" 'm sorry Murdoc... But... Now that ya know ya dad is dead... Why did ya want to stay here an resent?"

" 'm not quite sure on that one mate... It wouldn't be healthy ta live like this..."

"So have ya made a decision?..."

"Ya... I guess so...it was nice coming here after all these years... I doubt me dad can hear me right now... I know I can't hear me dad..."

"He can hear you Muds... He heard ya walk in jus' now..."

"O really? Where's the ol' bloke at anyway?"

"He's standin' right next ta ya... Why am I better at this than you are?... I thought ya were capable of talkin' ta spirits-"

"I am... But not THESE kinds of spirits..."

"So only demons then?"

"Yes."

"Oh... Well then how do ya know cleansin' spells?"

"Thas the easiest thing ta do with spirits... Ya jus' sit n clear off tha aura round ya, I've been doin' it since Kong..."

"Hmm...ya dad doesn't look like he has anyfing ta say... He might be too shocked ta see ya here..."

"Probably... Hopefully he'll follow us back home... So he'll be easier ta contact later on..."

"I can tell 'im ta follow us back-"

"Well you do that, 'm gonna head back to tha Winnie..."

You then proceed to do as you said and with that Sebastian had followed the two of you home inside of the Winnie, in which he soon found out wasn't the same Winnie they used before...


End file.
